Three tortoises

Three tortoises, Mick, Andy and Roy, decide to go on a
picnic. Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The
trouble is that the picnic site is ten miles away So, it takes them ten
days to get there.

When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer.
"Ok Roy give me the bottle opener"
"I didn't bring it" says Roy
"I thought you packed it" Mick gets worried,
He turns to Andy, "Did you bring the bottle opener?"
Naturally Andy didn't bring it.

So they're stuck ten miles from home without a bottle
opener. Mick and Andy beg Roy to go back for it. But he refuses as he
says they will eat all the sandwiches. After two hours, and after they
have sworn on their tortoise lives that they will not eat the sandwiches,
he finally agrees.

So Roy sets off down the road at a steady pace.
20 days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Andy are
starving, but a promise is a promise. Another 5 days and he still
isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it any
longer so they take out a sandwich each, and just as they are about to
eat it, Roy pops up from behind a rock and shouts,

"I FUCKING KNEW IT'......I'M NOT GOING!"